On one hand I needed the homeschooling to have something to do to keep my mind active. On the other I wanted to lay down and just sleep, I hurt both physically and mentally. I have lost two children in pregnancy. I have some sad but very real experience on this subject.
Mom you just gave birth. Whether your baby was only a few weeks old or several months old you are about to experience a quick and drastic change in hormones. Also you are experiencing changes in your body. You need to get sleep, even extra sleep taking a nap is normal. If you are bleeding too much or did during the loss you may be anemic, this will cause even more tireness and weakness. Anemia is easy to treat. You can eat more iron filled protein and your dr can help you get supplemental iron. Your pregnancy was not “nothing” or a “waste of time” you nutured a life that you WILL meet again in Heaven.
Now those pesky hormones that are thumping through your veins can lead you to a dark and dreary place. I became very depressed after losing my Sarah mid pregnancy. My husband was depressed right along with me. He showed his sadness so differently that I thought he was not as sad as I was. Sounds dreadfully selfish but I was sitting in a mud puddle and I didn’t want to get up. Depression sneaks in and takes over along with the hormonal changes. You need to fight it. If you can’t fight on your own that is OK!
Talk to your husband.
Talk to your pastor or christian counselour
Talk to your dr you might need medication to help soften the depression while you work through your feelings.
I recommend you get back to homeschooling within a couple of weeks. If you need to go with a lighter program such as lots of read alouds or computer work. The goal is get the family back to a normal schedule. By getting back on schedule and moving forward you are not leaving behind your child. You are leaving behind the moment of loss, which that grief and loss needs to be left behind. Your child will be in your heart always and someday in Heaven you will meet them in person.
My heart goes out to you. I am sorry you have this pain to carry. I assure you it gets easier. I have learned through repeated prayer and seeking the Lord on this subject I need to lean on the Lord. He is the creator and the God of all comfort. The Lord will heal your wounds.
When I lost my daughter in mid pregnancy I was not saved. I did not know of the Lord’s love and grace. I knew she would be in Heaven but I came to a moment when I knew that I was not able to get to Heaven. I couldn’t be good enough or do and think all the right things. I was a sinner. I learned that was the first step. Then I learned that Jesus had already taken my sins punishment for me. Now I needed to decide if I would accept His gift of salvation or not. I chose to! I hope that you have or will.
Billy Graham ministries has a wonderful clear, visual explanation of the Lord gift of salvation here. Steps to Peace with God
God bless my friends and ((hugs)) that you have to go through this storm. You are not alone.
Poirier4Justice says
I am sorry for your loss. I too have experienced the loss of 2 children, but I also have 4 beautiful daughters, and I am about to become a grandfather in June.
I wholeheartedly believe that we will get to meet the children that we lost in Heaven, and I look forward to that day with great expectation.
Dean