I rolled over and watched my beloved wife sleep. The room was dark. It was the middle of the night. And I waited for her to breathe.
Just one more time.
Her oxygen was on but that didn’t guarantee she would take another breath. I waited.
20 years together. 5 children and 3 angels with this woman and now I wait for the time when she will not take another breath.
She breathed. Shallow and the spacing was much too long. I shook her shoulder slightly to help bring her out of the deep sleep and hopefully encourage her breath better.
Again I wait.
It’s not a penance or burden to lay here and be sure my beloved sees the sunrise.
I will do all I can to help her.
It’s simple.
I love her.
It’s my job to be sure she and our children get the what they need whether that is for their health or our home.
Before you feel sorry for me and my family know that we are following the Lord. Yes, the Lord made it clear I needed to quit my job and come home to care for my wife and kids.
It’s been a little over a year since I came home from work. The Lord has covered all our needs during that time. He has blessed our speaking and small home business. Even helping Heather to have the strength to finish her book.
During this year the I have learned much. I have learned how to be a homeschooling, hands on teaching dad. I have taken on roles like laundry, dishes, chore director and in general caring for 5 kids on a level that I have never imagined before. My wife and I understand each other better than ever before.
Most of all I have been there everyday to help my wife and kids with their medical needs. In a very real way I have helped them take just one more breath.
Have one more day.
We are a team. I don’t know for how long but we have now.