Rule Changers are Everywhere!

Remember those childhood days of running around with your friends and cousins playing games. Whether it was a board game or some made up game in the backyard there were rules to the game.

‘touch base and you’re safe’ or ‘get all your pieces safely home then you win!’

But there was always that 1 person you played with that anytime you started to win suddenly announced a rule change.

‘That turn didn’t count, I get to role twice!’ or ‘that’s not base any more this is, I win!’

You would always remember that change of rules and never be quite as sure about playing with them again. It is always extremely frustrating when someone changes the rules mid-game.

Can you imagine that for your child? That is exactly what a child with autism feels like when they go out and try to make friends and participate socially in the world. Without meaning to people change the rules constantly. Gradations of gray instead of black and white, slight lies that slip out, again and again the rules change.

How can we teach our children to deal with rule changing and the frustration that often accompanies it?

1) Help your child have a strong moral foundation! If you child has a strong moral foundation it will be like a life boat in the middle of the ocean that they can count on.

2) Role play possible scenarios. Everything from a person that is outright lying to those little white lies that pepper our life. Use social stories, role playing, and other forms of conversational interaction your child might face.

3) Go out into the world often. Face those grocery clerks that make odd comments. People that think they need to quiz your child or decide for themselves if they have autism. You know all the people that make life uncomfortable. Help your child through the conversation even if you have to verbally coach them. This may seem odd to the person you are talking to but let’s remember that your CHILD is the one we are teaching not the Nosey Nellie!

4) Love and acceptance at home no matter what! Like a moral foundation that is solid for them to stand on through all the storms of life. It is just as helpful to teach your child that you love them through thick and thin, always!

We can’t go out and make others be nice and consistent. Instead let us focus on teaching our child how to deal with the outside world and its quirks. When making my yearly goals and plans for homeschooling this is always included as a life skill. This is part of homeschooling!