Regression (dictionary) = lose of skills….. ouch
Does that mean all our hard work for the last few months or years is worth nothing? Has it all faded away like the mist on a summer morning? While many homeschooling families are breathing a sigh of relief that the testing came back wonderful or the workbooks are days away from being finished. The joys of a trophy in hand or a competition won are on their minds. On our mind is the lack of progress.
A slide back down the hill that we wanted our child desperately to climb. To reach the summit and say hooray you did it! You finished the grade and we can go on to the next! A mutual goal met and accomplished! But that isn’t on our horizon.
Instead we face no progress or a regression in skills. Regression in skills often happens when dealing with neurological diseases, certain cancers or their treatments, even some medications can greatly influence a child’s ability to learn and retain information.
Let me assure you that YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Your worth mom is not attached to your child’s grade whether that is outstanding or in the dumps. You are a hard-working wonderful person. I say this first because your child is going to look directly to you for how they should react to their lack of progress or regression.
If you are anxious, snappy, and frustrated up to your eyebrows guess how they are going to react. Then the whole house will likely be drawn into a horrible circle of frustration and anger. Depression likes to worm its way into a home during these times as well. You have to be ready to fight off these family destroying emotions.
Encourage your child that HE IS NOT THE GRADE! The grade is simply a measurement of what you need to work on in the future. While grades may mean a lot to you or the local school system often with a child that is losing skills grades are no longer understood or applicable. If you can avoid grading a child with regression then skip it. If you have to grade try grading with on an EFFORT scale rather than a MASTERY scale. You can note for legal purposes that the IEP now states this child is to be graded in an alternative fashion.
Dealing with regression means you have so much else you are dealing with right now that grades and passing or failing really doesn’t matter priority wise. Live life! Take vacations and family trips while your child can get the most, remember the most from them. When we began seeing regression in one of my children due to mitochondrial disease that my child’s drs pushed for a Make A Wish trip. It was a refreshing break from an intense, non-stop medical treadmill we were all on at home.
Regression of skills doesn’t mean you won’t ever get those skills back. Keep going slow and steady. Be persistent in your home routine and homeschooling. Teach with high standards adjust them as appropriate.
Homeschooling a child with issues so significant that they are regressing in skills is hard. You can do it!
This is a wonderful post. No one; man, woman or child, can be measured by a grade. We are so much more than a score or measurement.
I really enjoyed this and feel like making a tshirt that says, “Your child is NOT the grade.” <3 it!!!
~Honey
Yes, thank you. We are facing “repeating” 7th grade this coming year, and with that also repeating 6th grade math (using a stronger curriculum and online class this time). What it boils down to though is that we just have to work with our kids where they are, no matter what grade they are expected to be in. Skills like math are sequential, and whether the math program has a 5, 6 or 7 in the title doesn’t matter nearly as much as can he multiply, divide, and do fractions? And if my almost 13 year old still doesn’t know his times tables, then that is what I’m working on. THANK YOU for speaking about this!