This is one of the most important conversations you will ever have with your family. What would you do if tomorrow you were the sole homeschooling parent? My dearest husband has to face the reality is approaching. This is the super big important talk we had about homeschooling when I am gone.
“Honey, when I am gone I have something very important to ask of you. I want you to try to continue. Would you please keep homeschooling?”
Without even looking up I just kept talking and began my hard sale… “I know that means you will have to quit your job. I know that you aren’t up to speed on where we are. I know there is so many reasons for you to opt out and find another way to school our children but will you please keep them home. I feel this is a calling from the Lord not a whim.”
About here I ran out of breath and my husband grabbed my hands to shut me up. Yeah, I blather when I get super nervous and emotional.
He slowly got the words out. “Heather, there was never a question. I will be homeschooling our children. We as a family will learn to be together and homeschool in a new way with me as the teacher.”
“I will homeschool the children not just when you are gone but soon when you have reached the point where homeschooling is too much for your health. We want YOU not the endless list of things to do you have. Honey the Lord has touched my heart in the same way the past few months.”
Devoted to Homeschooling No Matter What
Both Chris and I in our bible study had been drawn to specific passages that showed and reaffirmed that our choices to homeschool were HIS plan not ours. Our choices to parent our lovely special children with GOD’S desired path in mind not necessarily ours. Our lives are not to edify Chris and I but to further the LORD’S plan. When you realize that it’s not about you. It’s about GOD; clarity floods through your mind, heart, and soul.
My job as mom and current teacher is continue on teaching and planning what my children need. It is also to move towards helping each child be as independent as possible. Finally it is time for me to create a plan that is written down and Chris can follow at the drop of the hat.
While I hate to believe it <that I am dying> even though I am on hospice. I know each day is a gift. My warranty has run out. I am writing this from the hospital. I just got out of ICU and even needed blood transfusions. WOW that is a lot of care but when you are in the trenches things get foggy and you don’t realize how sick you are.
I spent this morning considering what I needed to do to hand over my life to my family. To give them the most precious things that I will leave behind. To have a structure in place to the household that when I am gone will help them through the first few months.
I know time will pass and they will move on. Doing great and wonderful things. I pray they are blessed with a treatment to this horrible disease so NONE of my children have to feel this pain, nausea, and loss.
I am was so happy to hear that the LORD has brought me and my beloved to the same place with our children’s education. How dedicated are you to homeschooling? Do you really and truly believe that homeschooling is a responsibility given to you by the Lord? This is not condemnation but I want with all my heart for you to think this through before you are faced with a significant storm. I was a dedicated homeschooler but until I knew I was dying I had not stopped and prayed through, thought through, and had a very open raw discussion with my hubby about ‘what if’. This is one of the most important conversations you will ever have with your family.
What would you do if tomorrow, you were the sole homeschooling parent?
I have been following your story and find your family amazing. How wonderful that your husband will honor your request. I am wishing you peace and comfort. Thank you for sharing your story.
Well right now I just want to ball my eyes out and hug my family, but instead I’ll keep praying for you in this time.
Hi Heather! Your story has impacted me. In your honor I will have the hard & awkward conversation with my husband. I am praying for peace and comfort for your family. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
I just read your blog on FB. It hit me too close to home cause my wife is homeschooling our 16 year old Autistic son. She has had MS over 20 years and her disease is getting where she can barely move on the bed. God bless.
I just have to let you know that I’ll be praying for you and your family as you make this difficult journey. God Bless You.
Dear Heather,
So many things we don’t understand in this life. I pray God will be close by your side, I pray he will give you a peace that passes understanding. I pray for all who help you, touch you and manage details, that their heart will be tender and caring in every way small and large. God will bless your family. I pray you will be shielded from further pain, nausea and loss. You are loved.
I abruptly became a single mom. It’s hard. Thank you for your post. It is very encouraging. Praying.
Heather, I can’t imagine this world without you and selfishly don’t want to. You bring so much light and love – daily I pray for a miracle for you. YOU have loved me as a friend and taught me as a sister… And you are an amazing woman, wife, mother, sister, friend…..
Hi Heather,
My husband and I have discussed the ‘what-ifs’ long before 2014. We were/are dedicated to homeschooling. The ‘what-ifs’ for him always included me continuing to stay home and homeschooling our three children. Neither of us thought we’d need our ‘what-ifs’ then Don passed away unexpectedly in the night on 12-13-14. I was suddenly thrust into single parenthood – no time to prepare, in some ways I’m a bit jealous of those who have time to prepare and go over their plans and how things should proceed. I’m now fighting with my husband’s retirement who need ‘proof’ we were married and ‘proof’ the children really were his. In the meantime for me that means zero income each month but monthly utilities coming in and no health insurance for myself. We haven’t even started to touch homeschooling again. We’ve tried but our hearts aren’t in it, of course I’ve been very sick since my husband’s funeral. I’ve had many ask when I’ll re-marry and I look at them like they have grown another head – it’s only been 5 weeks! I’ve had many ask when I’ll go back to work and when I’ll put the children in school – when I explain what my husband wanted and I’m going to honor his wishes they look at me like I’m crazy. I also haven’t really had time to grieve between being the sole parent, having to deal with the legal stuff that comes with my husband’s passing, they children have been sick and I continue to be sick – I just want time to grieve. Even if that means no book work gets done for another two months.
God bless,
Sarah
Sarah I have been praying for you and your family. I pray that ways will be made clear for you! Stay strong my friend. Seek the Lord for strength and guidance He IS there for you and your kids. ALWAYS.
God bless
Heather
I have followed your story for a while, but this truly brings me to tears. I have been so stressed about money and time this week, but in the grand scheme of things what does it matter? How differently I would live my life and place my priorities if I were planning for me to be gone. Thank you for using your time and voice to give me that reality check.
This post popped up on my facebook and hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. I have cancer too, I homeschool my beautiful children also, I am dealing with the beginning of the cancer walk and facing a grim prognosis, a daunting fight, and the horrible ineffable task of accepting that my odds of raising my children and seeing them grow and get married are slim.
My girls will continue to be homeschooled also. Im so sorry that you are in these shies, Im sorry that you’re hurting, that you’re running out of time, that your husband and kids have to lose you.
I love you and am praying for you
Crystal
Heather, I’m so sorry that you and your family are going through this. Your strength and your faith and courage are an inspiration to so many and that will continue.
I rejoice that your husband is feeling called to continue to homeschool your children. This is actually a conversation that my husband and I have had many times and while I would continue to homeschool if something were to happen to him, he would immediately put the kids in school if I were to die, which is a big worry for me. I just keep praying that God would soften his heart on this and I am thankful that there is time for that to happen.
Continuing to pray for you…
Tears are flowing down my cheeks. Just prayed for your family. Thank you for this post.
Praying earnestly for your you and your family, Heather. Thank your for being a blessing.