Help school just isn’t working for my child!

Two weeks into a new year and your child hates going to school? At first you think “they will get used to it” then you find out that the teacher is the problem, or bullies, or too much sensory overload, ect. ? What do you do?

This is a problem I thought long and hard about when my oldest child was ready for school. Our dr had already told me the local school made a habit of sending children back to their pediatrician for medication for ADHD, even in Kindergarten. My daughter clearly would fall into this group. She was ACTIVE! She was talkative. She couldn’t sit still for a couple of minutes much less hours. If I sent her to this the local school I would either have to fight the school about medicating her, or give in and medicate her at the age 5.

A friend of mine had similar but slightly different issues with her school. She sent her child to a public school successfully for two years. Both years the same special education teacher was in charge of her autistic son. Then came the third year. While she had much of the same group in the IEP meetings one major change occurred, the teacher and aide. They didn’t have any special training in autism, special needs, or sensory issues. The teacher was brand new and was not mentored by a more experienced teacher. The aide was new too. Soon my friend had to quit her job to go to the school most days of the week to be an informal aide just to get her son through the day. Education became a handful of worksheets shoved into the kids backpacks to be worked through with the parents at night.

Take three another child that hated school and desperately wanted to stay home. This time the teacher and staff disbelieved the parent and testing. The staff felt the child just needed MORE encouragement and to be pushed into work. They felt he would get over his block and start doing work that was more appropriate to where they felt he should be.  He was put into classes that were too much academically and emotionally. He was failing. He felt like a failure. And so he quit.

What are your options?

If you want to stay in the public school system for now you can stay and force your way through legal options. Your child has the right to a free and appropriate education. Wrightslaw is a good resource for your rights and how to enforce them step by step.

If you have come to the end of your rope with public and private schools. Welcome to homeschooling! You may homeschool for a year, several years, or the rest of your child’s education. Another thing to consider is you can homeschool one child while another goes to school. Look closely at your family and each person’s needs and make a plan!

Here are some simple steps to start you down the path of homeschooling:

1) Check the laws of your state and what you are required to show, record, or have tested. HSLDA, Homeschool Legal Advantage, or your state group are great resources for these laws.

2) Try to find out what your child’s academic level is. You can do this through looking at homework, textbooks, or IEP paperwork. You can also have your child privately tested or use standardized tests you administer (Bob Jones University sells these tests and major tests can be found at other homeschooling stores).

3) How does your child learn best? How do you teach best? You can see this by what didn’t work for your child at school, such as lots of writing and sitting, or they didn’t like boring black and white worksheets. Remember back to your years of education what subject or teacher did you love and why? Did they like to do lots of experiments? Find what is called your child and your learning style.
Learning styles: Kinetic/Tactile; Visual/Sight; Auditory/Hearing

4) Look over the learning material options. If you can go to a local meeting, convention, or play group with other homeschoolers and get a good look at curriculum and learning material. Conventions are easy their are lots of vendors trying to sell you books, learning material, programs, etc. There are lots of freebies and hands on opportunities. Many times at playgroups or local meetings you can ask other member to have a day where you bring in curriculum materials and/or sell used books! Everyone loves used book sales 🙂

5) Make a plan and make it legal! Now you know what you are legally obligated to do. You have an idea of what your child and you will like to try. Hopefully you have gotten your hands on some books and taken a look at a variety of publishers. Time to make a plan. I want to reassure you that many of us (even long term veterans) are unsure of our learning material until we actually work with it for a couple weeks.  May I recommend that you make a detailed plan for one month, and less detailed but fleshed out structure for the semester and finally to end the year just a general structure. This allows you to change the speed, and adjust the learning material best to help your child as you go.

6) Go for it! Don’t wait around for the doubts to creep in, or people to begin nit-picking your decisions. You don’t even have to wait until all your books are in. Start homeschooling. Many kids that are pulled out of school need time to get used to being home.  This is often called “de-schooling”. It’s just a simple calming down time. Get a schedule started for your homeschooling, chores, play, and meals.

Homeschooling is a work in progress. If you find that your child loves flashcards you may find yourself up to your eyeballs in flashcards by Halloween.  🙂 I still have several shoe boxes of flashcards. That is what is GREAT about homeschooling! You can see your child’s strengths and work on them immediately!

Homeschooling allows you and your child a tremendous amount of freedom. It also gives you the gift of time. Does your child need more time to work on social cues, math basics, or fine motor skills then slow down. Follow my motto Persistent and Consistent!

YOU CAN DO IT!Homeschooling has been a fun, family edifying, and worked beyond my dreams!

I wish you all the best as your start this journey! Feel free to ask questions, and stop in for information, support, and encouragement on your new journey!