Loving your child came easy. Finding out they had autism was not. Now you are faced with a whole new set of problems.
Education was one of the largest most emotionally loaded choices I made. I am blessed with 4 children on the autism spectrum. 2 of my lovely children were diagnosed within one week of each other. We had been homeschooling for a couple years by then and everyone was enjoying it. I was surprised then that the first question I faced was, “Are you going to keep homeschooling them?”
The answer I was told by many people, including their doctor, “of course they need to go to school now” As if the public school would some how fix the autism, or maybe not seeing the autism everyday all day would make it easier on me. My hubby and I were clear.
WE WOULD BE HOMESCHOOLING ALL OUR CHILDREN!
I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. My head told me that even though my children were diagnosed with autism they were both moving forward learning the skills and knowledge they needed to. Over the years I have learned the why’s to that gut decision.
Homeschooling allows you to focus on ONE thing at a time. Children with autism can have additional problems like ADHD, sensory problems. When your child is at home learning they only need to focus on the learning. They don’t have to be thinking of the lights humming, the strange aide that doesn’t know their routine… The irritating, thought consuming problems will only multiple as your child ages and more is expected of them. Homeschooling lets you focus on learning only, then social skills at a co-op meeting, skills can be focused on one at a time until they are mastered and can be blended.
Less transitions! Children with autism have a tough time dealing with transitions. At home you can control the transitions and the timing. Don’t try to teach your child a hard subject like math when your child is still trying to settle from lunch. One of my kids loves to calm down into homeschooling by writing. So his first subject of the morning is handwriting. He calms down. I get to improve his writing. Win Win!
Strong family bonds. Somewhere along the way we (as a culture) began to swallow the lie that children have to have a social life in preschool. A neurotypical child is urged into independence at the tender age of 4. Potty train them and then send them out to preschool. This pressure just becomes stronger when your child is diagnosed with autism. Every doctor is hanging on each and every friend. How many play dates you went to. And my favorite…were the play dates with neurotypical children or did they have autism too? You know what doctor you try to find a person that understands the peculiarities of an autistic preschooler, much less a family of them, that isn’t experiencing it too. My favorite afternoons have been spent sitting on the floor of my BFF’s house getting our autistic children to share, look at each other, and over the year become friends themselves. Your child will learn to make friends but for your child it may take some time.
Time to mature. Delayed development does not mean your child will never develop and grow intellectually or emotionally. With loving parental guidance, pointed work with your child’s specific issues, therapy when needed that you will see a wonderful improvement, and time to grow at their own pace you will see wonderful changes. My children on the spectrum are wildly different in abilities and how long it takes them to learn new materials, social skills, and except changes.
I have one child that is twice exceptional. She is extremely gifted intellectually but is having difficulty understanding a simple friendship. Another child that loves everything and everyone. Nothing held back but there is no boundary which is just as problematic. Their abilities to learn and live are unique to them alone!
As mother and homeschooling teacher I know their strengths and weaknesses. I take my job as guide, cheerleader, and loving mother seriously.
That is why I have, I am, and I will homeschool my children with autism!
This is so true. We have had the opposite reaction from doctors. They have thanked us for homeschooling our kids. I guess it depends on the area. We are in a very homeschool friendly area.
Blessings,
Dawn
Dawn, I am so glad you had support! It took years but we settled into two doctors that both congratulated us on homeschooling and encouraged it if the parents were interested.
God bless
Heather Laurie
Dawn…I loved your article! It was very touching and so true! I home-schooled my son for several years. This year I decided to put him back into public school. They were wonderful to Ryan, but did not know his routine, so things have been very difficult. And then Ryan started to develop some health problems. So once again, I removed him and am homeschooling again. I wish I would have listened to my guy when I put him back in this past year. I was so against it, but had several people pushing me to do it. Ryan is doing much better now that he is being homeschooled. And our doctor…he is totally on board with it! I am so thankful that I started listening to my gut again!!
I am homeschooling our PDD-NOS 8 yr. ols son. He withdraw from public school after last year. He is making friends in the homeschool group now ans is loving homeschooled. I enjoyed all your areicles . Nancy
I meant to say that we withdraw him from public school after 1st grade. Nancy
I have been told time and time again that I can’t homeschool my Son because he has autism. One Doctor even told me that he deserved to be put in public school. God gave me this child because he knew I could handle it!
I too homeschool an autistic child, among several other diagnosis. The comment our Dr. made about socialization was that if you are with family, that does not count as socialization. What! Visiting cousins, our grandchildren, her older siblings or grandparents did not count. Are they not “people” too? I think being around any other life form to include animals helps autistic children connect.
I am glad that you have stuck with your convictions.
The person I was most nervous about telling my homeschooling decision was my good friend who is a speech therapist in the schools. She almost fell off her chair. She didn’t say it quite like this, but her biggest concern was socialization and being around NT peers.
Awesome post!
I am so blessed to have found this site. I have been alone in this endeavor since my now four year old was diagnosed, with mild autism, adhd, and sensory issues at an earlier age. Everyone including my ex is against homeschooling and even threatened me of taking him from my care if I do not send him to public school. I do feel and want to start homeschooling him now in the fall. I currently un-school him now. It worries me he is not learning alot, due to my inexperience in planning a day for us. There are days there is no way around anything. I really do need the advice and support of a caring, understanding group like this on how to teach my son, so he can grow a happy and normal special boy. T.Y GBUA!
Thanks for posting this! I have a child who with high functioning autism or Asperger’s and he has been receiving S.T. and O.T. for 3 years. He has not been diagnosed but S.T. and O.T. believe he is on the spectrum and I am sure they would diagnose him in the public school setting. I have had so many people tell me he needs to be in school and that I can not provide everything he needs. He is doing well with his lessons. He would be in K in the public school and he can read, spell, write and do adding, subtracting,count money, and do word problems and I am providing him with socialization through church activities, cub scouts, 4-H and co-op. I think many people think public schools are the answer because they are the experts.
I am so glad I found this blog! I’ve never written on any blog before but, when I saw and read the entries I had to participate. My son, who is 8 years old has ADHD, Sensory Processing issues and is mildly Autistic. I’ve recently decided to try to homeschool him but have no idea how to do it. I identified so much with Carmen and Vicki Bordelon. The one thing I knew for sure was my son couldn’t take another year in public school. It was destroying his spirit. I had to do something. Now the challenge is finding a routine that works. I’m Scared and nervous because I don’t want to fail my son. I’m really hoping things come together. Reading what you ladies wrote lets me know that I’m not alone. And that I made the right decision to homeschool : )