Sleep… You Mean You Get Some?!?

**Golden Oldie Updated and Refreshed!**

Sleep oh how sweet! When you have a newborn you expect to be woken up multiple times a night. Then it gets better as your child ages, right? What if it doesn’t. Parents of gifted children often comment on how early their child quit taking a nap and how little sleep they get at night. Children with ADHD many not have trouble with staying asleep but the getting to sleep can be lengthy. Or perhaps you have a child with autism and the sleep is disrupted almost constantly. Whatever the reason sleep is the problem!

Sadly most pediatricians will only give you vague assurances,  “this is a phase”  “stop feeding them caffeine /sugar so late at night”  “haha you want to talk about lack of sleep? I have a newborn. so anyway…”  If you persist you may see a series of specialists to find out if there is an organic problem. Check the throat /ears then the head and maybe if you live near a major children’s hospital a pediatric sleep dr.

I know we have been to them all. I’ll let you know what our experience was so hopefully you won’t have to run the full cycle of drs and endless copays.

First step is the pediatrician. To laugh at me, dismiss my concerns, tell me so and so down the hall is worse off. IS NOT helping my child’s problem. The body needs sleep. Not just for mental clarity and energy but for muscle regeneration. Did you know that all the day’s wear and tear is slowly repaired in the night. If you do not sleep than the body just puts off the repairs until you do. So you build up this desperate need to sleep that is physical as well as mental.

I persisted and for my son it was obvious he needed some sleep help. He would sleep walk, sleep startle (sit up and be wide awake for some reason) and wake at all hours and not be able to return to sleep.  We went to a neurologist. She sent us to a sleep pediatrician. This dr talked to us about sleep hygiene. Sleep hygiene is a really medical way to say the bedroom is for sleep use it only as such. No TV, computer, and other distractions in the bedroom that maybe contributing to the lack of sleep. Also set a bedtime and a routine. School aged children need about 9-12 hours of sleep a night.

You know your child is not getting enough sleep when:

They cannot stay awake and energetic throughout the course of a normal day.

They fall asleep when you travel in the car, every time.

They need woken up every morning.

In the end the sleep dr was no help for us. We chose to work with my son through less medical means. We got a CD of white noise and played it low in his room all night long to stop normal house noises from awakening him. We talked with one of his drs and he recommended a small dose of Melatonin. (please check with your child’s dr before trying any new supplements or medicines)  We already had a bedtime, no tech in the bedrooms and a routine. These changes helped and have been useful in establishing a body rhythm his body will naturally follow.

Sleep disturbance is a huge topic and one that directly affect learning and living. If you the parents are sleep deprived your temper will be short, or you can be slow of reflex and thought. The same with your child, except that they need to continue to learn at a brisk pace through their childhood years.

Do you deal with a sleep problem? Does your child? What have you found to help?

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My family and I crisscrossed the US speaking at the Teach Them Diligently Conventions.

First we drove to Spartansburg, South Carolina:

I got the chance to listen to and meet Sally Clarkson.

Then we drove over the Appalachian foothills to Nashville, Tennessee:

Finally we got to drive all the way across most this great country to Omaha, Nebraska:

Here is the edge of our hotel parking lot! It was a warm, breezy, bright sunny morning.

While at the convention I had the honor of meeting Mrs. Pam Tebow.

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Are you blessed with a round the clock learner? I mean literally up at midnight then at the crack of dawn with some project, book, or MANY books?

Are you the parent of a gifted child?!

Needing less sleep is one of the ‘signs’ of giftedness. Many of our Presidents have been gifted and most sleep about 5 hours a day according to secret service records. These gentlemen were not just losing sleep over stress their minds were whirling and never turned off!

Do you have a president to be in the house? A gifted gal that is going to turn the science world on its ear? A child that learns everything you give them during ‘school hours’ then seeks out more, and more to learn! GREAT!

WOW that can be difficult though. Keeping up is like a marathon at a 50 meter pace! You are going to need back up.

First line of defense is be sure your child is truly up all these hours for learning, mind running at 100MPH rather than a physical problem. Something and simple and yet profound as diet can change a person’s whole sleeping rhythm.

For my gifted gal, she needed all dairy, gluten, and soy removed from her diet. Her dr was also well versed in simple supplements to help her sleep. (I am not a dr and not giving advice on those supplements, see your peds and ask about melatonin or valerian root.)

Gifted kids can also be very sensitive. Be sure the sheets, room color, sounds, etc are not interfering. Remove all tech from the bedroom. My hubby has a sleep disorder and found having tech, even a iPhone in the bedroom was a bit too tempting when he couldn’t sleep. Either you are in the bedroom to sleep or get up and go work on something quiet.

You have jumped through all the hoops and your child is just wired this way. That’s fine! I wonder at times when I wake up to a book written in the middle of the night by my daughter exactly what great ideas can be credited with that quiet in the middle of the night.

You will need to decide if your child is able to be up during the night. Top priority is to keep your child safe! Make house rules such as no chemistry or science experiments in the night or going outside.

Teach about the manners of keeping quiet while others are sleeping. My rule is keep it quiet until the sun comes up.

Another great way to keep ahead of your dynamo is to have lots of material ready and available. Go to used book sales at conventions and stock up! I have over the years gotten tons of books about a wide variety of subjects because I can never be sure exactly where she is going to jump next. Yes, I am constantly buying more material to keep things up to date and fresh but buying used gives me a cushion.

Put parental locks on your computer and allow your child to use software you have bought, online courses, online educational sites. There is a growing number or sites online that are safe and educational for children. The trick here is finding ones that allow your child to learn at an impressively fast pace.

I know this can be a very trying, intense time. Oh but what a wonderful time it is too! The rewards will be greater and sweeter for all the hard work you and your child are putting in right now.

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Phillipians 4:6-9  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.

If you have been reading my blog for long you realize that my children and I have mitochondrial disease (Years of uncertainty are at rest.) This is a neuro-progressive terminal disease. This year I have been in the hospital 4 times. Mostly from blood infections and my digestive system has shut down. The kids have had strokes, MRIs every year, specialists for almost every system of their body.

Recently I have been the one sliding down health wise. I now get my food through TPN (Total Parental Nutrition). It is a liquid that is developed to go straight into my blood and ‘feed’ my body.

Just to give you an idea of what I am dealing with here is a picture of the Chest Power Port I need to use it to get the TPN into my body.

I also have a Gtube into my stomach and a Jtube into my jujunenum  from previous attempts to get nutrition more naturally.

My youngest little one doesn’t understand. She thinks all the tubes in mommy’s tummy are what is making her sick. I have explained a little at a time to my daughter that the tubes are trying to help mommy. Her autism and age limit what she  can understand. She has always lived like this… mommy sick, wheelchairs for 4 members of the house including her, braces on legs, hospital runs, medications several times a day and she has been to her neurologist so many times she knows her special ‘curly haired doctor’ on sight. How could she understand and why would I force understanding.

It’s hard to explain to a child why mommy  isn’t like the other mommies out there. They see other parents running and doing lots of outdoor fun things. Sadly I just can’t do that. I haven’t been able to pick my daughter up to hug her since she was about 2. That hurts my mommy heart so much.

Muscle weakness is one of the largest symptoms that my entire family has to deal with. Recently a couple hours stay at a friend’s house playing, then going to church the next day caused lots of naps, neurological pain, shaking weak over worked muscles, and migraines all from too much activity. It’s hard to explain to children what their body can and can’t do especially when you add autism on top of that.

While mitochondrial disease and its side effects take up a lot of our energy, budget, and time. We as a family choose to focus on other things. We choose to reach out to others in need, others dealing with significant issues, other special needs families. We go to conventions and churches to share our experience and knowledge. Help out in our local neighborhood. Run online support groups. The training we have gotten through years of storms has given us the ability to help others and in turn helping us.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Yes, in the middle of all this we have peace. My family can be funny, loud, intense, and grumpy like everyone else’s, but the Lord has brought a fresh breeze that runs through the home, peace. Thank you Lord.

We desire to share that peace with each and every one on of you! It IS possible!

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Regression (dictionary) = lose of skills….. ouch

Does that mean all our hard work for the last few months or years is worth nothing? Has it all faded away like the mist on a summer morning? While many homeschooling families are breathing a sigh of relief that the testing came back wonderful or the workbooks are days away from being finished. The joys of a trophy in hand or a competition won are on their minds. On our mind is the lack of progress.

A slide back down the hill that we wanted our child desperately to climb.  To reach the summit and say hooray you did it! You finished the grade and we can go on to the next! A mutual goal met and accomplished! But that isn’t on our horizon.

Instead we face no progress or a regression in skills. Regression in skills often happens when dealing with neurological diseases, certain cancers or their treatments, even some medications can greatly influence a child’s ability to learn and retain information.

Let me assure you that YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Your worth mom is not attached to your child’s grade whether that is outstanding or in the dumps. You are a hard-working wonderful person. I say this first because your child is going to look directly to you for how they should react to their lack of progress or regression.

If you are anxious, snappy, and frustrated up to your eyebrows guess how they are going to react. Then the whole house will likely be drawn into a horrible circle of frustration and anger. Depression likes to worm its way into a home during these times as well. You have to be ready to fight off these family destroying emotions.

Encourage your child that HE IS NOT THE GRADE! The grade is simply a measurement of what you need to work on in the future. While grades may mean a lot to you or the local school system often with a child that is losing skills grades are no longer understood or applicable. If you can avoid grading a child with regression then skip it. If you have to grade try grading with on an EFFORT scale rather than a MASTERY scale. You can note for legal purposes that the IEP now states this child is to be graded in an alternative fashion.

Dealing with regression means you have so much else you are dealing with right now that grades and passing or failing really doesn’t matter priority wise. Live life! Take vacations and family trips while your child can get the most, remember the most from them. When we began seeing regression in one of my children due to mitochondrial disease that my child’s drs pushed for a Make A Wish trip. It was a refreshing break from an intense, non-stop medical treadmill we were all on at home.

Regression of skills doesn’t mean you won’t ever get those skills back. Keep going slow and steady. Be persistent in your home routine and homeschooling. Teach with high standards adjust them as appropriate.

Homeschooling a child with issues so significant that they are regressing in skills is hard. You can do it!

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Teaching yellow….

Taste Yellow- lemon

Feel Yellow- dryer warm sheet or flowers which will smell and feel great

 Draw Yellow multiple yellow utensils crayons, markers, chalk

Write the word Yellow- worksheets/chalkboard/whiteboard

Kinetic exercise with Yellow- stretching to the sky, like flowers popping out the ground every spring

This is how I taught my daughter her colors after years of trying. Even specialists were not able to help us. Yellow was the first color she learned. I hope you enjoyed!

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The weight that many of us carry wrapped tight around our heart is guilt, anxiety, and worry. I see the
smiling faces that say ‘Everything is going just fine,’ in a sweet southern accent. Inside you are gray,
scared, and anything but that smiling face. Deeply concerned that you have done a disservice to your
child(ren) and husband that are relying on you to homeschool your child. We carry the weight of guilt.

You can read the rest of this article at Teach Them Diligently’s blog.

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2+2=4  Ahh the good old days when math made sense!

Then suddenly 2+x=4 and in a flash your child is arguing the addition of a LETTER into the math world of numbers.

Black and White Thinking Meets Abstract

Late elementary school math started sneaking in simple algebra and my child balked. At first it was not big deal and we were able to talk through the problem together. As the algebra exercises got bigger and things got harder we had to face the fact that my child with high functioning autism, a very black and white thinker, could not understand the abstract nature of algebra.

I got some wonderful advice from a math tutor on how she deals with kids that have difficulty with the abstract nature of algebra. Add peace had descended on our math lessons once more!

<slap the forehead moment> How very simple and yet perfect this solution is. Simply take out the offending letter and put in a shape. Yes, I know that our children will need to learn to work with algebra problems in their nature letter form but not today. Today we are learning about how to deal with an unknown quantity and form an answer.

I am still using this method for my child. For the first semester we stuck strictly to shapes and not letters. It is easier now to ‘see’ that a letter could replace the shape but we are still working through the abstract of letters.  I am thrilled to see progress but I do realize this will take time.

I hope that you find this math trick to be as productive for your black and white thinker as we have!

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Surprise my time in the hospital has helped me get more organized! One of the first things I really wanted to restart was my Gluten Free Friday blog linky.

I started this week off with my own Gluten Free Sandwich Bread recipe!

Click on the white squirrel and follow the link to Gluten Free Friday! Linky

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Yeap, I’m in the hospital yet again. My brand new port was a dud. I had to have a surgery to take the port out of my left side and put another one in my right side.

The new port is working and I am once again getting TPN, after a 5 days hiatus of food.

If all goes well I will get to go home tomorrow!

Say a prayer for healing and strength please. I need to get home and  pack my conventions items up for the Teach Them Diligently conventions coming up the first weekend of May!

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