Kara Tippetts passed away this past Sunday. She wrote a letter to Brittany Maynard about the same time I did (Choosing Dignity When Dying) about Brittany’s choice to end her life last fall. Those that agreed with what Brittany called dignity with death (really assisted suicide) were strongly vocal and at times unpleasant. Once more that hornet’s nest has been stirred with Kara’s passing.
Just so we are crystal clear about where I stand.
I am choosing DIGNITY WITH DEATH by allowing the Lord to define all my days.
I have laid on the floor of my kitchen not breathing after a bad seizure and needed my husband to resuscitate me. If you know anything about seizures then you know that they are messy and horrible things. The day is done. I am exhausted from then on. My memory is fuzzy. Then comes the attack nap as we call it, post ictal nap. You can’t help but go to sleep.
And yet I keep going. I keep taking my medications. I keep taking IV hydration and nutrients. Why would I put myself and my family through these moments… because they are only that moments in passing in a larger perspective of a wonderful life. A life that matters and is worth fighting for!
Life is a Blessing!
I am a saved Christian. That means that I have accepted that I am a sinner. I have accepted that Jesus is the only way to heaven. He is my future and present. I have placed my faith in Jesus. That complete surrender to Jesus creates a peace and calmness about dying that is beyond my human strength and ability.
There is no pain in death for me as a person. I will die and be in the arms of Jesus awaiting those I love …. No pain, medications, or seizures. That will be a delight.
However I do admit I am very human. I have 5 children that I can’t leave. I don’t want to (said in my whiniest voice). I have a husband that is Mr Wonderful. He is working hard to meet my needs and watch over his children. Leaving his job to care for his family. How awesome is that!
Life is worth fighting for. I do know what it is like to have oxygen, IV food/fluid, even feeding tubes. I also know what it is like to have all that and still know that it is not going to cure me.
I do know that I have a purpose to for being here. When I blessed to speak to others about homeschooling, dealing with medical issues, or how to have a peace-filled home the Lord brings those that need uplifting in a very special way. There are few who are in our situation and can with authenticity speak directly to the hearts of other special needs families. The Lord has taken this nasty disease the whole family is dealing with and crafted it into a blessing.
How can I possibly deny Him by ending my life early. I will fight until I am told to put down my burden.
I stand firm on my declaration that the Lord will Define my Days.
Ann Voskamp wrote a poignant article about Kara, How to Recover the Lost Art of Dying Well: What Kara Tippetts Taught Us